Recently, I conducted a stress management training session for a large company, where I shared a simple truth: trying to eliminate all stress is not only impossible but often creates even more stress. However, reducing unnecessary stress is absolutely essential.
One of the most common sources of unnecessary stress stems from our resistance to change.
Why Do We Resist Change?
At the core of our being, we have a fundamental need to feel safe. In Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, safety is the very first level. To maintain that sense of security, our brains seek consistency and predictability. We feel safe when we think we know what’s coming next.
Our brains are wired to focus on what remains constant. We assume that tomorrow we’ll live in the same house, drive the same car, go to the same job—basically, we act as if we know what the future holds. And because of this, our brains look for evidence that we're right about our assumptions.
But here’s where it gets tricky. When we live in this illusion of predictability, we set ourselves up for disappointment, surprise, or shock when things don’t unfold as we imagined.
How Resistance to Change Causes Stress
When life doesn’t go as planned, it activates our fight-or-flight response. Instead of adapting to the new circumstances, we often fight against them. And this is exactly how we create unnecessary stress.
Of course, there are times when resisting change is the right move—certain changes do need to be challenged. The key here is to be flexible rather than reactive.
Adapting to Change: The Key to Reducing Stress
When faced with change, the most important thing is to assess the situation calmly. Ask yourself: Is this a change worth resisting, or am I just refusing to accept what is?
What if, instead of resisting, you chose to see the change as an opportunity? Here’s the fascinating part—your mind loves to be right. If you start viewing change in a positive light, your brain will go to work, searching for reasons why that change is actually a good thing.
This is a powerful mental shift. You can use your mind’s need to prove itself right to your advantage by consciously choosing to see change as beneficial.
Make Change Your Ally, Not Your Enemy
Change is inevitable. It’s one of the few constants in life. The only way to effectively manage it is to consciously decide how you’re going to respond. Ignoring change won’t make it go away—it will only create unnecessary stress for you.
Don’t add to your stress by resisting what you can’t control. Instead, approach change with flexibility and a willingness to adapt. After all, it’s not the change itself that causes stress, but our resistance to it.
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